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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Bloomington, IN—Meta Platforms, Inc. regrets to announce the cancellation of the highly predicted reality docuseries Following Lalo Vera: 2 B-Town , set to premiere on November 10, 2023, on Instagram. The cancellation is due to unforeseen time constraints related to the video editorial process. Despite our best efforts, Meta and Lalo Vera LLC have met unexpected production delays, making meeting the scheduled premiere date unfeasible. This decision ensured that the series meets the ambitious standards of excellence and creativity that viewers have come to expect. Following Lalo Vera: 2 B-Town aims to capture the vibrant energy and humanity of Bloomington, Indiana, and we are committed to delivering an exceptional viewing experience. We are grateful for the patience and support of our viewers and fans, and we promise to come back stronger and better prepared for the November 10, 2024, premiere. Ladislao 'Lalo' Vera Jr. and Lalo Vera LLC are bringing their unique vision to life, and we are confident that the added time will allow us to create an even more compelling and captivating series. We understand the disappointment this announcement may bring. Meta and Lalo Vera LLC are working tirelessly to make the necessary adjustments to ensure that Following Lalo Vera: 2 B-Town will be worth the wait. We stay committed to delivering innovative and boundary-pushing content and look forward to sharing this extraordinary journey with our audience shortly.

Meta presents the upcoming reality docuseries " Following Lalo Vera: 2 B-Town , " premiering November 10, 2023, at 9/8c on Instagram. Bloomington, IN—Get ready for an exhilarating and captivating journey as Meta Platforms, Inc. presents upcoming reality docuseries Following Lalo Vera: 2 B-Town . This highly expected reality docu-series, set to premiere on Friday, November 10, 2023, at 9/8c on Instagram, takes viewers on an adventure through the vibrant streets of Bloomington, Indiana (B-Town). Join the charismatic Lalo Vera as he becomes the ultimate guide, exploring hidden gems, local hangouts, and the bustling life of B-Town. The teaser trailer , available at https://www.lalovera.com , supplies a thrilling sneak peek into the excitement ahead. Lalo's infectious energy and deep understanding of B-Town bring a fresh perspective to every corner turned and every interaction made. However, it is not just about the places but also the people. Lalo introduces viewers to the faces that add color and character to the city, sharing their stories, dreams, and lives. This heartwarming exploration of community and connection sets the backdrop for an unforgettable journey, highlighting the humanity that makes B-Town unforgettable. Ladislao' Lalo' Vera Jr, the creative talent behind Lalo Vera LLC, serves as the series' casting director, costume designer, editor, director of photography, producer, writer, and director. Lalo brings his unique vision to life, enhanced by the original music composed by Lalo Vera LLC. This collaboration between Meta and Lalo Vera combines the finest of both worlds to deliver an immersive experience for viewers. As a leading production company known for pushing boundaries, Meta continues to redefine the digital entertainment landscape. Instagram, a leading social media platform, connects people through visual storytelling, making it the perfect partner to offer diverse and compelling programming. To stay updated and be part of this extraordinary journey, viewers are encouraged to subscribe to the show's channel , where they can find the latest episodes. The adventure has only just begun, and so much more is to come. Buckle up, get ready, and prepare to be enchanted by the magic of B-Town.

We had our Chihuahua Puppy for over a week now. We have yet to decide to name him. Please choose all the names you like for the final vote. Please help name our puppy.

Indiana University Bloomington has always been known for its stunning architecture and picturesque campus, but did you know it also boasts some of the most enchanting study spots? Whether you're looking for a quiet nook to bury your head in a book or a cozy corner to sip on a chai latte while you conquer your assignments, IU has got you covered. Here are some hidden gems you must explore when considering your study areas. First on the list is the Indiana Memorial Union (IMU)—South Lounge. As you step into this 500,000-square-foot building, you'll feel like you're strolling through the hallowed halls of Hogwarts . With a fireplace, plush leather couches, and exposed wood, the South Lounge exudes a captivating Harry Potter aesthetic. Visit this spot not just for its charm but also for a delicious chai latte from Starbucks .

A couple of bumps on the road, but things turned out fine.

A Word of Statements from the Mother of Ladislao Vera Junior:

United States Department of Education

INDIANA UNIVERSITY BLOOMINGTON (IUB ) DEPRIVES THE COLLEGE DEGREE OF A LATINX SUICIDAL STUDENT, brings a stunning 3-year Conspiracies attacks, OWIs , the latest slip-ups, and an even more portable look to the world’s most loved Kelley School of Business. Lalo Vera announced that IUB , the 8th best business school built entirely around the United States, will introduce organized Crimes , a simple way to practice neglect anywhere, anytime, and Suicides , a major high-impact university college-student attempt type, on November 19, 2020 . Lalo Vera is also introducing a new investigation—being done by the U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights —featuring and designed with two-time bases of discriminations and five-time world basis of disabilities, along with the multiple complaints on Latinx student Ladislao Vera. Inspired by mental illnesses, this investigation will help build strength, balance, and endurance so students can have more safety on nations’ campuses—all the way to the last run. IUB was negligent in many respects. It was foreseeable that Ladislao Vera would commit suicide due to the deception activities. Ladislao Vera advised IUB and its agents that the misuse activities triggered his severe anxiety and depression. He was mentally unstable. He explicitly expressed that he was suicidal and had a plan to commit suicide. Proximate results of negligent acts that IUB subjected Vera to assault, aggravated mental harm, and caused Vera to suffer severe anxiety and depression in an attempted suicide. Ladislao Vera suffered substantial financial damages, including losing his society and support, grief, and lost wages and salary. During the Fall 2020 semester, IUB subjected Vera to various forms of cruelty that caused him to develop anxiety and depression. As a result of the severe anxiety and depression from ill-treatment, Vera committed an unfortunate suicidal attempt in a motor vehicle accident on November 19, 2020 . “So here’s why I’m here tonight okay, um so, I went to your house tonight—that house—and I served a search warrant on it and I got the golf cart that you stole. Okay, so what I’m trying to do is close this case out. Okay, so that we can… so that we can move on, so we got multiple people…putting…so, let me just… let me start off with, I am looking for a little bit of honesty. Okay, at the end of the day, it does not have to be a bigger deal than you make it, okay. So umm, obviously the golf cart was reported stolen, okay. We got pictures of it in your garage, then I get a search warrant, I show up and I find it. Okay so we have the golf cart. Who took it?” ~ IUPD Officer Preston C. Wagner . Fifty-three college residents on the Latinx Floor at IUB are experiencing a dramatic tragedy of the two co-Resident Assistants’ termination. One victim almost lost his life from IU’s harassments aimed at the victim’s appearance and behaviors of being different. At the time, there are no witness or lead reported IUPD Officer Wagner. Ladislao Vera Junior communicated to IUB including individually named agents, that the conspiracy was triggering misery. Community members reported Harassment and threat concerns to IUB regarding the victims’ ( Vera’s ) safety. IUB owed a duty to use ordinary care to supervise the transgression of IU to reduce the risk of physical and mental injury that would lead to suicide with transgression. IUB, by and through its agents, employees, and proxies, was negligent in allowing Ladislao Vera to be assaulted. Ladislao Vera Junior studied Acting and Dance, holding 159 college credits. With only two required classes left to get a Bachelor of Arts in arts and sciences at Indiana University Bloomington. The fall 2020 Semester did not come out to be an academic learning experience where Vera continuously fought for his rights at IUB to get his degree. Violence actions, after another tragic incident, after other intense attacks, all led up to Vera moving back in with his parents on November 21st, 2020 . At that point, Vera knew he was not going to finish his education at Bloomington. That was also when Vera stopped doing his passion: acting and dancing. Vera shares, “I never realized I would have to stop doing classwork for a grade to beg a university [IUB] to believe in my life involvement.” Many colleges reinforce diversity among our communities, while IUB struggles with discrimination from predominantly white institutions factors. New social movements are a theory. A theory in which social movements can face challenges to explain the excessive amount of new problems. Most of these movements came up in various western societies roughly since the mid-1960s. They were bringing people together to address problems, whether they were big or small important or not. Vera believes this is the best way for people to be heard. Especially those of minorities and people treated with inequality. “Okay so for one, you need lower your voice with me. Cause at the end of the day, I’m not here to get fucking yelled at. Okay, I’m here to talk to you, so you got to make sure who you are raising your voice at” ~ IUPD Officer Wagner. The U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights (OCR), evaluated Ladislao Vera claims that Vera filed with OCR. On July 8, 2021 , OCR received against Indiana University (IU), stating discrimination based on race, sex, and disability. OCR has determined that the U.S. has the authority to investigate Vera’s cases. Specifically, the claims state the following— (1) Indiana University discriminated against Vera based on disability (multiple disabilities) when in January 2021 it denied Vera’s appeal of a suspension from the University; and (2) The University discriminated against Vera on the bases of race (Hispanic) and sex (male) when in March 2021 Vera was expelled from the University. OCR enforces Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Title VI), which prohibits discrimination based on race, color, and national origin by recipients of Federal financial assistance (FFA) from the U.S. Department of Education. OCR enforces Title IX of the Education Amendments Act of 1972 (Title IX), which prohibits discrimination based on sex in any education program or activity operated by recipients of FFA. OCR is further responsible for enforcing Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (Section 504) and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (Title II), prohibiting discrimination based on disability by recipients of FFA and public entities, respectively. As a recipient of FFA from the Department of Education and a public entity, Indiana University is subject to these laws. OCR has determined that it will investigate the claims. Please understand that opening an investigation does not mean that OCR has decided about the claims. During the investigation, OCR is neutral; OCR will collect and analyze its needs to decide the claims. OCR offers, when appropriate, a Facilitated Resolution Between the Parties (FRBP) process to facilitate the voluntary resolution of claims by providing an opportunity for the parties involved to resolve the claims quickly. Some information about the FRBP process is in the enclosure to this immediate release. When appropriate, the claims may be resolved before the conclusion of the investigation after Vera expresses an interest in resolving the claims. If such a case, Vera's resolution agreement and submitted to OCR must address, all of the claims that OCR determines are appropriate to resolve before the conclusion of the investigation. Information about this kind of resolution is in the enclosure of this letter. OCR makes aware that Vera may have the right to file a private suit in federal court whether or not OCR finds a violation. OCR will communicate with Vera periodically regarding the status of Vera’s claims. If you are interested in resolving Vera’s complaint through OCR’s FRBP process or have any questions, please contact Ms. Sherry Rosenblum. Equal Opportunity Specialist, at 312-730-1601 or by email at Sherry.Rosenblum@ed.gov.

Human rights have always been a substantial part of a community. If something goes wrong, mass resistance to situations and circumstances that are unfair is stimulated by "the crisis of the inner city" (Castells, 1983). A more narrow form upon women of color participation demands equal rights in school desegregation during the civil rights movement. Effective communities display theoretical and conceptual issues in mobilization to connect people of color and city life.

OFFICE OF

Vera stayed on the dean’s list for all 4 years in high school with a ending cumulative GPA: 3.3/4.0; Dean’s List all semesters.

Summons: Service by publication

Bob : On Campus, by a vote of three to zero we found you not responsible and looking at each of these specifically statements of the charges. General discussion, we've concluded that there was not a preponderance of evidence. We just couldn't determined that with preponderance of evidence that that's what was correct . We don't know when, we know you bumped elbows, but we don't know through a preponderance of evidence that this behavior was efficiently to put people at risk. Kind of decisions that you need to make in the future related to that specific situation. There was no preponderance of evidence that you were intoxicated. There was no preponderance of the evidence that uh marijuana was presences, present, or that you knew about it, even though everybody seems to... not everybody, several witnesses have said that they think they smelled it outside or something like that. So just in essences I want to make sure I went through all these uh specifically statements...uh masks...uh I think that covers all theses specifically statements, so combined decision is three to zero that you are not responsible, for these violations. Now having said that, there are multiple educational points that the committee wishes to present to you for future issues and for future considerations. So we'll start with Brennan cuz he has some brilliant ones I think.

CAUSE NO. 53C02- 2001CM2000, 2012F61170

CASE NUMBER: 53C02-2012-F6-001170

CASE NUMBER: 53C02-2012-F6-001170 FILED: 12/18/2020

Officer Wagner was right. I got the letter of my expulsion for drunk driving and theft a day later, when I was in my room in the frat house. Because I had a little hope in me that everything would be fine and I will resume my normal school activities soon, I stayed in the frat house and locked myself in my room, entertaining only a resident as a visitor. The morning I got released from the station, I knew I wasn't totally fine, that prompted me to make my way to the university’s clinic where I ran a test and found out I suffered a concussion. The news got to my mom even when I tried to hide everything from her, to avoid her worrying. I stayed in the hospital a few more days receiving treatment, that's when I got my suspension letter, a little more longer my expulsion letter followed. It was a little something to sweep out the scandal I got in. When I read the letter, one thought came to me. I tried so hard for things not to blow up on my face but it did, in the worst way possible . But I told myself one thing, I would not cry. Not for this, not for them. I saw this as an opening, things were bad for me and staying there would continue to be hell for me. And I might be expelled, but at least, I did not end up like Romeo. I did not let them take me down that road. I left school the moment I was expelled. I did not know how people felt, because I did not stay to know. But now, I sat with my mother beside me in the truck, a file in my hands and I knew I could have sent this through, I just wanted to see the look on their faces when I dropped this on them. My mom asked,

I became much more clear-headed later on. But when I did, I remember sitting across a dude who identified himself as Officer Wagner. He was the same one who took me out of my chapter meeting with a search warrant for the golf cart , bombarded me with questions, and threatened me. I looked at the clock that was pinned to the wall, it read two O'clock, approximately one hour since I came crawling out of my flipped over car. And my eyes widened with the thought of Veronica that I wasn't aware of when I called her name out loud. Officer Wagner eyed me, “ Veronica Dallas García, you mean? ” I nodded, “ Yes, isn't she playing victim? Have you seen her? She’s gone corrupt .”

The realization screamed in my head and I felt lost. I had no idea what I was doing but I had to make sure my residents are safe. So I drove, my pulse quickening, ears ringing, I didn't understand anything but I needed to get to the dorms as fast and quick as possible. If I could save all my residents, just this one time. Romeo's face flashed in my head, the image of him dangling above his chair, that only made me drive faster. When my chest seemed to get tighter and my head swam with more images, more voices, more thought, I tried to count to ten, it was the least I could do since my pills weren't available. I counted. 1….2….3….4 but I forgot what number came after four and my chest was tight again, everything swam in my head at once. I started to count again, but I never got to three. The last thing I saw was a pole and the hood of my car approaching it at a fast speed and everything was finally quiet. I remembered waking up to the sound of shattering glass from my flipped car upside- down on its roof. It went on for some time but I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't feel anything, I felt so light, yet I could sense that there was a pain there, somewhere. I stayed quietly in the car, tried to start it but it wouldn't comply so I laid my head on the headrest of my seat and closed my eyes, trying to understand what or if I was feeling anything. The smoke against my window resumed, I looked out to it and there was a man standing there with a uniform and a torch, pointing it directly to my face.

October 13th day, I sat across Officer Wager in Forest Large Conference Room I was in the previous days. I didn't feel great, but better than dance class and I could speak properly now, without slurring my words. “ You're sober now? ” He asked. “ I was never drunk .” “Well, the test results said otherwise.” “They are fake.” He didn't say anything to this but flipped the pages of the notepad he had with him. “I need a lawyer,” I pressed, “I'm not answering the questions.” “You know Vera, if I were you, I'll just do what I’m told.” “I have a right to a lawyer.” “This is something we could talk about here. Involve your lawyer and this matter would be taken to Court,” I kept quiet with this, while he resumed, “I’ll make this quick and you’ll be released soon." “Vera Ladislao, am I correct?” I nodded. “Date of birth?” “12 11 1998.” “Citizen of Indiana?” “Resident and citizen of Indiana.” He nodded and wrote it on his pad, “You live at 424 address?” I told him yes. “Good. I’m just going to read you your rights before I go on, do you understand?” He read them, I told him I understood. There was not much rights for someone in police custody anyways. “Last month Vera, a golf cart was seen in your garage,” He smirked, I froze, “A golf cart?” He looked at me with a blank face, I wasn't sure he was interested but I spilled out everything, right from when Veronica asked to hang out. He sighed, "Okay, essentially what you’re saying is somebody else stole a golf cart, which we found in your garage — “ “Veronica. Her name is Veronica, why do you keep ignoring that,” I eyed him suspiciously, “Veronica came to see me, threatening me to ride on the golf cart which she brought from work.” “So a girl harassed you basically.” I shot my eyes, “I couldn't have done anything. She was threatening me.” “You’re basically telling me that another RA just didn’t show up from thin air but went and stole a golf cart, brought it to your house, left it, and then nobody realized that it was a little bit suspecting?” “I don't know how she did but Veronica stole that golf cart, not me.” “Okay! She stole it, how’d she get it?” “Why don't you ask her,” I said, “you seem to really favour her.” He glared at me and I knew I hit a spot, the right one, “So let me, let me give you a rundown of the story you just told me just a minute ago to see if it makes sense, okay?” He went through what he had on paper. When he missed an information, I corrected him saying there were two girls with Veronica. “So now, there's two girls?” He chuckled, “And somehow the cart magically ended up in your garage?” “Someone else put it there Sir. Why does it sound like you're accusing me of something?” “No one is accusing you, Vera. Maybe your story just seems kind of made up.” With a small chuckle, he rose from his seat and said since it was a school issue, I would face the school and most likely an suspension . And I dismissed him, allowing them to walk out of Forest Center but not after I heard him get off the phone saying, “It's done.”

Individuals : IUPD Officer Nathan Koonz, RA Ladislao Vera Junior, IUPD Officer Preston Conner Wagner. Date : Tuesday, October 13th, 2020 Start Time : 10:54 P.M. End Time : 11:51 P.M. Address : 1725 East Third Street Bloomington, Indiana 47401 Location : Forest Quadrangle Building : Center Building Second Floor Room : Large Conference Room C102 Officer Preston Wagner : So, okay. Do you live at 4-2-4 address? Because that's where I wanted to talk to you originally. Ladislao Vera : Um, I live here. yeah, I sleep here every day. Officer Preston Wagner : okay, So is that just your fraternity? Ladislao Vera : Um, I'm not sure what address do you have?... How do Officer Preston Wagner : it's the 4-2-4... Ladislao Vera : How do you have that address? on file?.. If I, if my address Officer Preston Wagner : That's what the RA told us. That's what... Ladislao Vera : What RA? Officer Preston Wagner : Okay. Ummm. So here is why I am here tonight, um so I went to your house tonight, that house, and I severed a search warrant on it and I got the golf cart that you stole. Okay, so what I am trying to do, is close this case out, okay, so that we can. Ladislao Vera : I stole a golf cart? Officer Preston Wagner : So that we can move on... so we got multiple people... Ladislao Vera : that's cool? Officer Wagner : putting.. so.. let me just... let me start off with, I'm just looking for a little bit of honesty, okay. at the end of the day, doesn't have to be a bigger deal than you make it. Ladislao Vera : uh huh Officer Wagner : okay, So umm, obviously the golf cart was reported stolen, okay. We got pictures of it in your garage, then I get a search warrant, I show up and I find it. Okay so we have the golf cart. Who took it?” Ladislao Vera : I honestly do not know since I do not sleep there Officer Wagner : uh huh Ladislao Vera : ummmmm but I do know, I'm not sure where that information is, I'm not sure where it's... Wagner : so who all lives there? Ladislao Vera : ummm. my roommates, so there's.. techni... there's five rooms... Wagner : mhm huh Ladislao Vera : one of them technically mine, Wagner : mhm huh Ladislao Vera : empty but technically mine Wagner : mhm huh Ladislao Vera : so five of us live there... there of us lives next door... Wagner : mhm huh Ladislao Vera : and with that aspect, I do not know how a stolen golf cart, if they hot wired it or whatever, could get there, Wagner : mhm huh Ladislao Vera : umm, but I do not think my roommates are that smart enough, Wagner : mhm huh Ladislao Vera :... to be honesty... but... Wagner : so essentially what you are saying somebody else stole a golf cart... Ladislao Vera :.. I don't care who reported it, but I think you should get the true story out that original person, because their not telling you everything, and you may... Wagner : well you're not telling me everything. Ladislao Vera : I'm telling you right now, and you may say you have all this documentation um but I don't see any proof of me actually physically taking a gold cart Wagner : so here's what we're going to do... Ladislao Vera :...one of the two-wheeler golf cart. Wagner : Here's what we're going to do, so I already have probable cause linking you and the house to the golf cart, that's how I got the search warrant. Ladislao Vera : oh okay. Wagner : ... to go in your house and get it. Ladislao Vera : go get it, I thought you already have it. Wagner : No, I do already have it Ladislao Vera : okay then... Wagner : there's already officers there with, your golf cart, okay. Ladislao Vera : That's not my golf cart. Wagner : Alright, so here's the thing... Ladislao Vera : That was never my golf cart. Wagner : Here's the thing, I don't want to be a jerk... Ladislao Vera : like its not a frat house, like, our houses is not frat houses, we rent them from regional court. Frat houses are here [IU campus]. So uh, I don't know what they be doing but they just be going back and forth. So I even feel like I think I got everything out, and then after that I notice how I do need to stay in the dorms more, um, so I been distancing myself away from the house to live here. However, I told you everything I know... Wagner : alright so here's what we're going to do. Ladislao Vera :... so far. Wagner : so um... okay so for one, you need lower your voice with me. Cause at the end of the day, I’m not here to get fucking yelled at. Vera and Wagner at same time: Okay. Vera : at the end of the day, I'm not here to get accused at. Wagner : I’m here to talk to you, so you got to make sure who you are raising your voice at. Vera : I'm not here to get accused at. so stop accusing me of something that I didn't do... but I'm telling you... Wagner : When did I accuse you? Vera : You're saying that my story is not believable. Wagner : okay, so is that accusing you of anything or is that is saying that your story isn't believable. Vera : you're saying my story isn't believable as in accusing me that my story is fake. Wagner : okay. Vera : as in my story is a story, Wagner : okay. Vera : the story that I said isn't a story, it's a real life event... Wagner : okay Vera : …that actually happened Wagner : okay Vera : okay, but go on. what what... Wagner : so, and my problem is what's gonna end up happening is that the whole fraternity is gonna go down and you guys are gonna get boated and have no affiliation with the university and I'm gonna have to file paperwork downtown on...on issuing warrants for people and all kind of stuff that I don't wanna do. okay, I want to close this case out. Okay, and I know you don't want to sit here and talk to me any longer than you have to. nobody wants to sit here and talk to the police. okay, but when we sit here and the longer we sit here, and you keep circling around questions... Vera : okay look. do you want to know the true story? Wagner : …that you may be don't know the answer may be... Vera : Do you want to know the true story? Wagner : Yes, I want to know the true story. Vera : okay. Wagner : I'm tired of sitting here, right now. Vera : what, that was the true story, it's just a little dumb version of the true story... Wagner : okay. Vera : the true version, the true version... Wagner : what's your... Vera : if you want... Wagner : what is your... what is your address here? your address here, your room number here... Vera : uhhh 424 e Southern Drive Wagner : nu, no... I know that address. your address here. Vera : uhhhhhhhhh, 1275 e ... Wagner : what's your room number? Vera : ...3rd streetttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. Wagner : no no, i just need like your room number man, and like what building your in, like east, west? Vera : I know I'm 702. but I don't know what tower. Wagner : is it the tower over there or tower over here. Vera : that one? I think? (purposely points at east tower) Wagner : you said 702? vera : yeah... why? Wagner : i'm just trying to confirm where you live dude. vera : oh okay. Scene Ends and fades to next.

“There’s a bonfire tonight though. For the sorority and residents, ” she grinned, “ But it's a gathering for… the worthy people. ” As she walked to her car, I wondered if she realized a bonfire was not allowed during this social distancing time. I wondered what she was thinking. Getting home, I contemplated getting to my room and keeping myself there for a while till I could draw up a plan that won't make everything explode in my face but decided against the thought immediately I had it. If Diego or any of my hermanos sees it, they wouldn't keep their mouths shut. Talking about the devils, Diego and Carlos walked into my room unannounced, their face wearing their usual smirk. “ I heard a golf cart got stolen, Princess. ” Diego stated as he walked in. “What are you doing here? ” And I registered what he said, “ How did you know a golf cart was stolen? ”

I got a call from Jenna shortly after receiving the email, requesting that I turn up at Top n Bar with urgency. I didn't want to, but I had to. Upon seeing the golf cart in the garage, I thought of leaving it there, but it would have come off too suspicious. What if someone found it there? What then? She was the only one in the building who had access to it. I left with no other choice but the intent of returning it after my shift, only for me to find it was borrowed. Veronica wasn't bluffing after all when she said she would create a conspiracy . One thing I also did not think about was how suspicious dropping the golf cart would look. If anyone saw me taking it out of my car, they definitely would have the wrong idea. I left it as is, hoping it is gone when I return with much of an audience. Jenna addressed both me and Veronica. As I stepped into the room, Veronica was sure to give me that smug look of hers. Hating how I felt that moment, I took my eyes away from her. “ Vera, thank you for coming .” Jenna began, “ I know how this seems like but please I need to be sure .”

I drove with my car two days later for my afternoon lectures. Romeo's photograph and letter was tucked inside a drawer next to my bed. I had thought of burning it instead, throwing it behind me and locking it forever but somehow, I stopped midway and the thought just seemed ridiculous to me. There's one thing Romeo failed to mention and warn me about though. That I might somehow begin to live off the antidepressants he had given me. I most times now find myself breathing faster than normal like something in my chest was closing up on me and the only thing I could turn to were the antidepressants, popping a pill or two. They became my companion. I texted Veronica to remind her about covering for my shift that day, when the calls were going straight to voicemail. Sliding my phone back in my pocket, I saw a resident approaching me — or that was what I thought when she completely ignored me and walked past like no one was there. Confused, I walked back to her and tapped her shoulders. She turned, but didn't look up. Didn't matter though, because I had already seen her eyes and how red they were against her brown skin. I also noticed how big her clothes were. How they seemed to cover up everywhere and she only does that when one thing happens,

CHAPTER FIVE That night, and for the first time, I swallowed the antidepressant drugs. When it seemed one pill wasn't doing the job, I took three more. I never planned on using the drugs but it wasn't until I read Romeo's note I decided I might need them. Also, that night, I gave up on holding back and broke down to tears, cried myself to sleep. I wasn't expecting the content of Romeo's suicide note. Just as I wasn't expecting it to not be a suicide but a letter directed to just a person, to me. Romeo's photograph stared at me as I tried to decipher the content of the letter. As I read the note, it seemed to me like Romeo was there, whispering the words, Hey. This might not be what you expected and by the time you read this, I will not be there to answer your questions. You don't know this, but I'm always watching you and knowing you, you'll probably not open the bottle until much later. But, like I said, I’ve always watched you, you never noticed but I prefer that. I watched and admired you from afar. Whether it developed into something more, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure if it was love, a simple crush or just admiration. But I felt something, I don't know you did but thank you Vera, thank you for allowing me to find comfort in you until my final breath. Your Hermano, Romeo. The voice ended as the letter did and I found myself popping pills, shivering in my bed, breaking, crying and I didn't know what to call the feeling inside of me. But it was there and heavy, at the same time fragile. I stayed in my bed with the windows closed all night, Romeo's note squeezed in my hands while the bottle was on the floor, maybe I had lost grasp of it while I was asleep and let it slip. I woke in the afternoon, which meant I skipped a class and because I didn't want anyone to suspect anything, I went for my shift at Top n Bar’s parking lot, Marilyn sent an email as a reminder that we’ll be working on the golf carts. I immediately regretted not calling in sick when I was almost at the parking lot, because out there, standing under the sun with his hands in my pocket was Derek. After that night at his house, I never saw him again and quite frankly I hoped I never will. But there he was outside the hall like he was waiting for someone and when his eyes landed on me, he began to walk towards me, taking very slow strides. I was frozen, but somehow I moved — quickened my pace so I could move past him before he had the chance to say anything. He grabbed me by my hand and gently pulled me back, “Please Vera, just hear me out.” I shrugged his hands off. “The cliché phrase when someone knows they messed up, huh?” “Yes, I did. I messed up pretty badly and I know saying sorry will never be enough for what you went through — “ “And you have no idea what I went through. You have no idea what those guys did to me and will still do. So your apology doesn't cut it.” “I’m sorry Vera, I really am.” “Just forget it.” I whispered and started to leave but was stopped again. “I was forced, okay. They made me do it.” “Nothing!” I yelled, then brought my voice low to not attract any attention, “Nothing will make you deceive anyone that way.” “Vera — “ “I bet none of what we shared means nothing to you. It was all part of your plan, yeah?” “No! No, They never approached me until two weeks ago. Believe me Vera, I really didn't want to do it.” “Doesn't matter.” I said “They came to me. They said they suspected you were gay and if they didn't find out the truth about you…. Things won't be good for the both of us.” “So you just went with it.” “You have no idea what those guys could do,” He hissed, “You don't know how much they hate this. Look at you, Vera, look what they did to you. Who knows they could do much worse.” “And deceiving me we shared something was the only way?.” Derek shook his head violently, “I didn't mean to. Believe me when I say that's something I didn't lie about.” “You know something Derek,” I chuckled — a low, bitter, grave sound, “Those frat guys might have been the ones who kicked me, hit me, called me names, hurt my pride but you Derek, what you did, hurt so much more “ “Derek…” But it was in the past now and quite frankly one of the last things I want to hear. “Just leave, please. It's all gone and I want to let all that go but… not now, please.” He nodded his head, seemed to have given up but called again, his face covered with guilt. “Are you okay though? I heard what happened — that you're the last person he spoke to.” I nodded, remembering Romeo's note — another thing I want to forget. “I’m fine, don't worry about me. Please.” And with that, I left him standing there and continued to Top n Bar parking lot. I met Veronica there, moving golf carts, smiling so widely as she did her work. I wondered if the problem she talked about was over now. I wanted to come to work to refresh myself, clear my head a bit instead of being cooped in my room that only reminded me of Romeo, but seeing Derek now really changed a lot of that. I felt drained, no longer having the energy to do anything. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, but the one person I knew held his truth and didn't use it against me but for me was dead. Veronica noticed me first, she waved at me. I waved back, making my way to her. “Thank you so much for helping me last night. Hope it wasn't much of an issue?” “No, it's fine.” I smiled, drawing the sleeves of my hoodie, hoping it will cover all the bruises. “Get on with what you're doing then, let me not distract you.” I gave a small laugh and made my way to one of the golf cart, but was stopped by Veronica’s high pitched voice, “Oh no dear, you can't handle the golf carts yet.” “Why?” I asked, confused. “Well, you are still new here and you don't have access to the gold carts yet,” Veronica sighed, her lips forming to a sad smile, “We just have to see how well you'll do with the other tasks you are assigned and we’ll see where we’ll go from there.” “But Miss Marilyn sent us an email this morning, a reminder that I will be working on the golf carts, with you.” “Oh no, she might have forgotten.” she huffed, “Miss Marilyn is getting so forgetful these days. Let me see her — “ “No, it’s fine.” I stopped her as she attempted to walk away, “It might have been just a mistake. I'll go clean some equipment.” She thanked me for being understanding as I left to the other side of the building where equipment like spare parts of gadgets meant for rooms in the hall were kept. That was how I spent the rest of my afternoon shift, trying not to think, trying not to feel but that only made me do what I didn't want to. I left the room the moment my three hour shift was over. Veronica was standing at the entrance of the building, like she was waiting for the arrival of someone and when she saw me, she waved and took long strides towards my direction, “I didn't see your car anywhere.” she pointed out. “Yeah. I haven't been feeling the vibe to drive, y'know.” I chuckled, she joined in, though I wasn't sure what was funny. “Come on, let me give you a ride.” “No, I'm fine. Walking actually feels good nowadays.” “I insist, Vera.” And I wasn't sure what she was trying to do but she went ahead to give me this puppy look that I had no choice than to give in. Once we were in the car, she turned to me and began apologizing for not picking my calls and I got into trouble for that. I told her it was fine, I didn't get hurt. “Great,” She replied, “There's something you must know though.” “What?” “I feel so guilty for Romeo's death. I feel it’s all my fault.” Wondering what she meant by that, I asked but she squeezed her face to a frown, like she was about to cry, “Just calm down Veronica, it’s fine” I assured her. “No, it’s not. Romeo was just caught up in our ridiculous conspiracy drama.” She confessed. “Some LLC frat guys kept harassing some of the women that wanted to join flowersuns, our sorority. So to get back at them we decided to expose them on Twitter with how they were homophobic towards Romeo. We didn't mean this. We didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.” And she bawled her eyes out again, letting out a fierce cry. What she said hit me like a blow to my head, because I couldn't stop thinking Romeo would still be alive if the Twitter saga didn't exist. Then again, what happened, happened because he was a victim of bullying and harassment, the twitter thread was just something to fuel his actions. As I watched Veronica cry, I became numb, empty but I found myself patting her shoulders, whispering words that I hoped would calm her down. After a long moment, she lifted her head and dried her face, giving me a shy smile, “I’m so sorry, that was really embarrassing.” “No it's okay.” I assured her, "Please don't feel that way and guilty too, it's not your fault.” She nodded, “Let me make it up to you.” Veronica offered, her sad smile still on her face, “I'll take your shift the day after tomorrow. I really feel bad for what happened yesterday. Let me make it up to you.” “No, don't worry about it. I didn't get seriously hurt, really.” “Still, Let me just make it up to you. You need rest also. This week seemed to have been really horrible for you.” I refused again, she continued to offer and pressed on it until I couldn't fight it anymore and felt it would go on forever if I did. “Awesome.” She grinned, “You just relax and I’ll handle everything for you.” I returned her smile and sat in silence as she drove to the fraternity building, a country song playing in the background. This time, I was careful with how things came out and told her to drop me off a block away from the building and I saw her off from there. It wasn't until I was in my room, popping a pill in my mouth that I remembered and realized what Veronica said earlier. I never told her I got hurt and was harrassed the previous day.

CHAPTER 4 Suicide. That's what they said it was. This morning, two hours before I woke up, one of the building residents had gone to pay Romeo a visit. He noticed how dark the room was, how Romeo’s chair wasn't where it always was and how it was in the center of the room instead. Dangling above it was Romeo's weightless body. Already colourless, already cold. Report said he might have died the night before and not that morning, probably around the same time he left my room. It wasn't even a day later and the news was all over school — on the tip of everyone's tongue, on blogs, on Twitter. If anything, it only fueled the drama between the flowersuns and LLC. The flowersuns claimed LLC pushed Romeo into suicide with their homophobic ways. The might have no clues at the time, but they have a source and are certain LLC Fraternity were being homophobic towards one of their 'fruity’ frat member. When I read the news the next afternoon, I thought the flowersuns didn't care about any of that and maybe I still do. The resident, who sat on my bed, next to me asked why I thought so and I told her, “If they really wanted to help him. It won't be that hard getting any evidence.” And I thought of the afternoon when Veronica dropped me off and I was greeted with a blow on my stomach and injuries from Diego and Carlos punching the hell out of me, saying and calling me whatever they could at that moment. I thought of how I laid there and no one tried to help, but they stood there with their phones, with the video camera on. No, if those women really wanted to help Romeo at that time, they would have. There was nothing stopping them. “I really do feel bad for him,” the resident uttered, and I turned to look at her, noticed how moist her eyes were, “But I understand him. Really well.” I didn't like that. That she understood him. It made me remember the night she stumbled to my dorm, with her hands filled with blood. Made me think that that night would have been the last of her too. “You are the last one he spoke too, right?” I nodded, “He just came to say hello.” For some reason I didn't want to mention the antidepressants, “And I’ve spoken to the police, in case you're wondering.” “They probably won't do much anyways. It will just be ruled as suicide in a matter of days.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” She answered, “He didn't leave a note.” “I didn't expect him to.” I stood up and told her I wanted to go for a walk. I was already sick of it, everything — everything about Romeo. It was crazy how no one took it as such a huge deal, crazy how few hours ago Romeo was in my room, talking, laughing. Did he know he will never get to do any of that when he sat there on my bed? “Where are you off to?” the resident asked, interrupting my thoughts, “No where actually. I’ll just take a walk alone and be back.” “What about your shift?” I told her I didn't have any but Veronica did. “Alright. Are you sure you'll be fine alone?” I nodded and left before she asked anymore questions — before I gave up on hiding and broke down in front of her. I met Diego on my way out, I wondered where Carlos was since the both of them were always together and inseparable. He stared, glared at me as I approached the door. I knew the best thing was not to look back and just ignore him but I watched him as he watched. I hoped he read me. I hoped he understood. I hoped he knew he killed Romeo. Diego didn't follow me out, that I was grateful for. My boldness could only take me so far. I walked to nowhere in particular. I walked without a destination. All I knew was everything suffocated me and the resident couldn't stop talking about Romeo and I wanted to forget him. Forget that I was the last person he spoke to. My phone began to ring in my trouser pockets. My first thought was to ignore it, talking to anyone at that time was something I wanted to ignore as much as I could. But it rang again, again and again until I gave up and answered a harsh, “what.” “Oh, I'm so sorry. I knew it was a bad time to call.” Veronica said, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn't have called.” “No, no, it’s fine.” I assured her, regretting how harsh my voice came out, “Why did you call? Are you okay?” “Yeah, I'm fine. I just…” “What is it, Veronica?” “I can't make it for my shift. Something came up here and I’m not in the right mind now and I'm caught up with this issue. So, I was wondering if you could cover for me?” Veronica paused, waiting for my response while I regretted picking up the call. “Of course. It’s by eight right?” “Yes. Thank you so much!” And before I could say anything else she ended the call. With a deep sigh, I looked at the time on my phone screen, it read seven forty. I wondered what had come up that made Veronica to skip her shift, I wondered if she was okay and if it had anything to do with Romeo's case. I wondered if taking Veronica's shift that afternoon would also take things off my mind. I arrived at Gresham three minutes to the start of Veronica’s shift, the campus restaurant hall that offered the best pasta and hamburgers, basically the best food. I greeted some of the workers on my way in. They smiled and laughed like they normally did, but I noticed the way they seemed to hold themselves back and stare at me, like I was a fragile being that will soon break. And maybe they were right, maybe it was a matter of time till I break, till I explode. “You aren't working today.” James stated. He was the assistant dean for the Latinx floors. “Yeah, I’m covering for Veronica. She’s not feeling too well.” “Well, are you? I heard what happened.” “Yeah.” I smiled, hoping I looked convincing enough, “I think working will be good for me though. Besides, Veronica did sound pretty serious.” He nodded and left it as that. It was obvious he wanted to say something, but thought against it, patted me on my shoulder and told me to take care of myself. The rest of the afternoon was spent in a breeze — mostly cleaning the restaurant hall and doing the dishes. I couldn't go to the storage room because I didn't have access to it yet but Veronica did. I wasn't sure if working actually did the job of making me forget or it just made me think more. Few minutes to the closing time, Carlos and a girl I recognize from flowersuns walked in to the room. Their eyes searched the hall like they were looking for something then it landed on me and Carlos smirked. I turned around, trying to ignore them but they walked to me and tapped my shoulder. “What is it?” Carlos grinned, “We just want to talk.” I looked at the both of them, “Since when did the both of you start hanging around?” “That's none of your business, Vera, is it? We just want to talk.” The girl, who I now remember as Alicia eyed me, and twisted the strand of the hoodie I was wearing. I drew back and took a step away from her, hating that she was so close. “Is there any problem?” I heard a voice echo behind me. It was James, he seemed to have come out from the storage room. “Listen Vera, if you know what's good for you. You'll follow me, quietly.” Carlos growled. I turned to James and yelled back that I was alright. Like Carlos warned, I followed him outside, to the side of the hall building — away from public eyes. “What is it?” “Like I said, we just want to talk.” Carlos began, “We are technically brothers, Vera. And I heard you got the ra job, congratulations.” I rolled my eyes at that, he frowned but his face went back to that suspicious smile again, “Seeing what you are putting us through, you should give us some free food.” “Putting you through what?” “You are fruity,” Alicia hissed, “A vile, attention seeking one that always wants the spotlight on him. The least you could do dear is to compensate us for having to deal with something like you.” “It’s just free food. It’s the least you could do right?” I shook my head and glared at them already having enough, “I don't have time for this. I have to go back to work.” I turned to leave, Carlos pinned me to the wall, hitting my shoulders and swore at me, “I don't know who told you that you are in charge here but you're mistaken.” “Just do what we want Vera and we’ll let you go.” I glared at them and tried to get myself away from them, but Carlos was quick to pin me again to the wall and this time, he made sure he landed a good blow on my stomach and another on my arm. I could have not given in but they won't stop, won't stop talking, won't stop swearing, won't stop touching and blowing. “I don't have access to it,” I coughed, “I don't, but Veronica does.” “So go get her. Go get Veronica.” “She's not here.” “Call her then,” Alicia laughed into my ear, “Call Veronica to come here.” And I did. With shaky hands, I retrieved my phone from my pockets and dialed Veronica's number. It went through but she wouldn't pick. So I tried again and again and again and again, but it went to voicemail. I decided to send a message online, I did. It read she was online but my message wasn't read. “She's not answering.” I choked out, “She did say she is busy but let me go. Why harass me when I don't have access to anything!” “Are you raising your voice at us?” asked Carlos, attempting to land another punch on me, but I wasn't having it anymore. Before he could hit me, I twisted my body to the other side to avoid the blow. He was taken aback for a second, this gave me the opportunity to kick his crotch —though I almost missed— and land a blow on his stomach. He yelled in pain, clinging between his legs. I didn't want him to recover from the impact, not yet at least, so I landed another lunch and another and another until I felt Alicia teeth sinking into the flesh on my upper back, followed by a small sized log of wood making a sharp pain filled impact with my legs, then arms and Carlos was on me again. He looked angry, really angry. He didn't fail to let me know that. I didn't know exactly when but they left and I also didn't know how long I sat there drained and weak. There wasn't much damage done physically and the bruises weren't too visible, at least they were careful to not leave too much scars. But they did leave scars, only that no one could see them. Still, I couldn't find it in me to get up and walk alone back home since I had no car with me. I didn't want to call anyone inside the hall and ask them for help, most definitely not James. But my pride seemed to have gotten the better of me and I ended up ringing a resident's phone. In minutes, the resident's car rolled into the parking lot and then she found me sitting on the spot Carlos and Alicia had left me. “Oh my God, Vera. Who did this to you?” She grabbed my hands and helped me up, walking me to the parking lot and then her car. “Who did this to you?” She asked again, but I didn't want to speak or recall what happened so I shook my head, thanked her for coming and turned my head to the window. The car ride was silent. Short but silent. I thanked her again for helping me when we got to the fraternity house and began to make my way to my room. She didn't follow me, but that's because I told her not to. I met Diego and Arturo on my way to my room, there was no sight of Carlos anywhere but at the sight of me, Diego smirked, like he knew what happened. I removed my gaze from him and continued my walk to my room. I locked my door as soon as I got in and although, I tried to suppress it for so long, a tear slipped to my cheeks. It was gone as soon as it came, I wasn't going to cry now, not because of them. My room was darkly lit, the windows and curtains were closed, only the lamp brought light, beside it was the bottle of antidepressants Romeo had given me, which I now considered as a gift. In that moment, I was aching and it wasn't because of the blows Carlos had so generously given me. I didn't seem to feel so much from the bruises on my arms. My head felt like a scene where so much was happening and playing at once. I couldn't stop it, not when my heart also drummed in heavy beats divers of crazy chords. I sat on my bed, gripping the antidepressants bottle so hard a vein could have been cut. I told myself a while back I wouldn't need them, but now, the thoughts in my head wouldn't stop pushing themselves forward, whispering in my ears, I couldn't stop it. With a deep sigh, I twisted the cover of the bottle open and sitting in it was a small piece of paper. Unwrapping it, I saw how hurried the hand writing was and although, I have only seen it on two occasions, I could recognize that handwriting and the photograph glued on it. It was Romeo's suicide note.

CHAPTER Three Saturday, August 8th, 2020 through Monday, August 10th, 2020 "Caught in 4k.” I heard a voice speak followed by the sound of a camera and people laughing, clapping hands, shouting, hailing. For a minute, I froze, it felt like I was incapable of moving, of thinking. I stared at Derek, maybe you could move, maybe he could speak but Derek wouldn't look into my eyes. His eyes moved everywhere — to my feet, to the floor, the carpet, the tv, to the sofa, anywhere but my face. “Derek — “ I heard my voice crack but before I could say anything more, someone grabbed my shoulder and forced me to face him and I was met with a guy in the room besides Derek. Actually, I was met with at least half a dozen guys. All of them Latinos. All of them I knew. All of them are people I called my ' fraternity brothers .’ “We know the sick truth about you now, princess.’ Diego’s face was the first one to enter my line of vision and he wore the same expression as everyone else, a sinister twisted expectant look that made my blood run cold and my knees weak. But I couldn't show them I was scared of them, I couldn't fall to my knees in front of them just because they found out I wasn't who they thought I was. Though, I still couldn't look up without feeling like I'm tearing apart and it's the hardest thing to do, I finally found my voice. A little shaky, but it will do. “What Is the meaning of this?” Diego chuckled. I once liked the sound of it and found it comfortable, but that night, it ran chills down my spine and I hated it. “What does it look like, princess?” “Stop calling me that.” “What? Princess?” He laughed, “I mean only princesses play for the boys and… you play for the boys too. What does that make you?” I frowned, remembering where that word began to ring in my head. Though, I knew the answer and wasn't expecting any from him, I asked, “You sent that text didn't you?” “What?” Then he grinned, “You sucking dick?” I wanted to punch him as he spoke. Heaven knows my fist twitched to that and if I did I would have broken a bone or two and it won't be mine, but I turned to Derek who sat quietly on the sofa. His head was done and I couldn't see his eyes properly but I knew they weren't settled. “Derek,” I called, moving towards him, “Tell me — tell me exactly what I need to hear. This is a mistake, yeah? You don't have a hand in this, right?” But he didn't answer, instead he took a much more particular interest in his fingers and he began to twist it. So hard I thought it might snap. ”Yesterday,” I began, “Yesterday, behind the library, someone was there right? Someone was — I felt like I was being watched by someone.” I searched for eyes but like all evening, they refused to meet mine, “You knew didn't you? It's that why you asked me to come here? Because you are part of this set up?” Again, Derek kept silent “Answer me!” “Doesn't matter.” He replied. It was a broken small, silent voice but enough for me to hear, “It really doesn't matter anymore.” “How do — “ “Okay!” Diego said, dragging me by the collar of my shirt and forcing me to look at him, “Okay, that's enough lovers quarrel for one night. I might just pluck my eyes out because of that.” “Let me go.” “I should let you go?” He turned to the other guys behind him, all laughing, all having something so sinister about them, “we should let you go?” I couldn't come up with a reply at that moment, I couldn't find the strength to do so. What I could do was slap Diego's hands from my shoulders and make my way to leave but someone pushed me with what I could feel was his leg, that I fell on the ground. Fortunately, I was quick to brace myself and shield my head from hitting the ground, but not so much for the rest of my body. “What the hell bro,” I turned to meet Carlos standing in front of me, hands in pocket and his eyes on me like he saw vermin, “I thought we were all brothers. Why keep this thing you have going on away from us?” “Just let me go.” “No,” Carlos replied, his face twisted to a sneer, like he is looking at something worse than vermin, “What the hell is wrong with you bro? Tell me,“ and I watched his face grow dark, “Did you have thoughts about getting it in on with any of us when we hang out?" They all stared at me, waiting for the answer like it meant anything, like it would change anything. I glared at Derek one more time, before standing up and making my way to the door. This seemed to have frustrated Carlos, for he grabbed me by my shirt, dragged me to him then pinned me to the wall. “Who told you could leave?” He sneered, “You don't want to tell us the ugly truth, huh?” “I can't believe we stayed in the same room and ate together with him.” I heard Arturo say, cringing at the way he said ' him ’ like I wasn't a living thing, “Did you see how he was with Derek?” “I like you.” “He sounded so pathetic,” then he turned to me, “You are pathetic.” I closed my eyes, wanting to block out their voices. I hated how they made me cower before them, like I was below them but still, I didn't want to believe that any of these was happening. That it was real. “Why are you doing this?” I asked, “I thought we were brothers, why are you doing this?” Arturo scoffed, “Brothers? Brothers, you say. Well, princess, who wants to have a brother who thinks lustfully about his brothers?” “That's not true — that has never happened.” Arturo grinned, “Yeah? I even watched you at the abandoned warehouse yesterday. You were so over that other princess there.” “It was you?” I asked, then turned to Derek, “I felt someone was watching us. You planned that too.” Derek opened his mouth to speak but Diego cut him off, coming to stand in front of me, “I bet that's what you think of doing with us, right?” “No, Let me go. That has never happened.” But they didn't listen, didn't try to. Didn't want to. I was pinned to the wall and forced to listen to every word they said — every cuss, every insult, everything. I didn't know how I bore it or handled it. I couldn't remember much after that, I do remember someone punching me on my stomach but I wasn't sure who and all the while, Derek sat there and watched. I felt caged with them, but I soon found myself in my room, in the shower, letting the tiny drops of water rain on my skin but unlike other times, I felt no comfort, no relief. I just wanted to be alone and even when I was, nothing seemed right to me. Like I should and like nothing had happened, I turned up for school the next morning. A resident was there, at the entrance of the lecture room for our creative writing class. She tapped her foot on the floor, not showing any signs of stopping soon like she was impatient about something and her eyes searched the faces around her, like she was looking for something until it landed on me. My first thought was to run, ignore her, do anything that would not warrant me seeing her, but I was glued to the spot, frozen and only stared as she approached me. What if she hated me now? What if she acted like how the frat guys did? What if— “Why aren't you picking my calls?” “What?” Like I did the previous afternoon, when I went to confront her, she shoved her phone to my face, “ten missed calls, Vera. Ten freaking missed calls.” “I was busy.” “Busy with what?” I opened my mouth to reply her, what I would say I didn't know, but students began to flood into the lecture room and I followed, leaving her behind. She wasn't having it — grabbed me by the hands and whispered harshly that we will meet after the lecture. The lecture itself was the only thing stopping me from Insanity, and screaming my lungs out, because even then I felt everything was closing up on me and instantly began to regret coming to class. She made sure she sat by me, even though I tried my best to avoid that. I remembered what Diego and Carlos told me about her the day she stormed out of my room. Didn't she resent me now that she knew the truth? Didn't she see me like I was weird like everyone else did? It’s funny that that was two days ago? That two days ago everything was completely fine. It’s funny how everything became so fast paced. The class ended earlier than I thought it would, although it felt like it was taking an eternity. I was quick to rush out of the lecture room as soon as the lecturer did, but the resident paid attention to my movements like a hawk and refused to leave my side. When we got to a quiet area in the hallway, I turned to her sharply, “What do you want from me?” “I just want to talk.” She said, “Why are you running away from me?” Because I had no valid reason, I didn't answer and she continued, “because I now know the truth?” “Please, just stop. I really don't want to talk about that.” “Why? Why do you look at it like it's something to be so mad about — “ “Then why did they have to do that to me?” I cried, “Why did they have too look at me like I’m vomit or something so much worse.” She stared at me for a moment. Did nothing but wait for my breathing to come down to its normal level. “I know what they did.” She confessed and sighed. For a minute I thought she was part of the scheme too. “I came to see you and apologize for acting the way I did and I met Diego and Carlos.” They told me everything.” Her face twisted in disgust, “They are not even sorry for what they did.” “You aren't mad?” I asked and she looked so confused, “You don't think this is unfair to you after finding out the truth.” She seemed to have understood where I was getting at and her face broke to a sad smile, “Oh, I’m fine, I’ll get over it. Is that why you didn't want to help Romeo?” I nodded. She understood. And for the first time since yesterday's morning, I was relieved. On the morning of my first day as a resident assistant, I received an email from Jenna which stated my work days and shifts. It was two days after the incident with my frat brothers, two days of being seen like I was somebody else, two days of everyone knowing that I, Vera was a fruity man. It was weird how things spread wider and faster than wild fire in a hot California summer. How people and everyone seemed to know you once something shocking, surprising or unexpected happens. People stared longer than they should, and their whispers sounded like they really wanted me to hear them, and most times they were not nice things. The good thing about it was, I no longer had that secret banging in my closet, wanting to get out. It was open and out there for everyone to see and many people actually didn't care. It didn't bother them that I was fruity, they didn't mind it at all. Some though, like the women from the flowersuns acted like I was a pile of glass surrounding them and stared at me in a new way, not like I was something to protect like they thought of Romeo, but just something. In the resident's eyes, I might have bounced back like everything was normal and I was fine. But it wasn't, I knew things have changed right from the moment I heard people clapping back at Derek's house. Things would never be the same at the frat house. Everyone — those who I once took pride in calling hermanos— still saw me as that one thing that should be discarded. They still looked at me differently, said ugly stuff, made me do things and even still claimed I thought of them in a lewd way. It was sick. But I wasn't ready to leave or bend to them just because they didn't approve of me, even though that drained all the energy in me. But, it was the month of what I loved to call the August energy and a resident had told me to make good use of it and in addition to that, I was now the resident assistant for Latinx floor, a position I had been trying to acquire since my freshman year. Jenna was the first one to welcome me with a big smile when I walked into the stadium for my first shift. I asked for Veronica since we both had the morning shift together, Jenna said she came an hour early and was setting up the golf cart. I thanked her and was about to leave to meet her, when Jenna called me back and narrowed her eyes at me. “What were you thinking bringing peaches to Marilyn?” “Sorry?” And then I remembered the peaches that I thought would win me a few points. “Oh God, I'm so sorry about that. Veronica mentioned she loved them and I thought it would be nice to get her some…” “Veronica told you that?” I nodded, “But it was a mistake. She meant cherries. We are deeply sorry.” “We?” Jenna frowned, “Honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is Veronica's mistake. She knows Marilyn has breathing allergies when she takes peaches and she's very strict about them.” “It was a mistake,” I insisted, “And she's deeply sorry for that. Please don't do anything to her.” Jenna observed me for a moment then sighed and rolled her eyes, “Just because you said so.” I laughed, she smiled then I made my way to meet up with Jenna. I found her cleaning the golf balls. She noticed me before I could say anything, and that smile that seemed almost automatic was back on her face. “Hey Vera,” she greeted. “Hey. I see you're almost done here.“ “Yeah, I came a bit earlier for it. I might be a bit busy today.” I nodded then she looked at me like she was expecting me to ask her what she was busy with, so I did. Her response though was unexpected and made me freeze. “It’s about Romeo,” she answered, “I think the assaults against me are getting too much. As a resident assistant here and a flowersuns, I think this is a matter to look at.” Then her eyes grew wide, like she just remembered something, “I’m guessing you weren't through the same thing. Did they hurt you like they did Romeo.” I shook my head, denying it and tried to speak but she didn't seem to notice, “Those arrogant bastards. I really hope you're doing okay though. I know you want to help Romeo, but with your… situation, it's understandable that you can't do much.” I wanted to tell her that her sorority really wasn't better. And I might have no clue but I know they aren't exactly nice towards the residents— who wants to be a part of the flowersuns but was always declined. Like she read my mind, Veronica grinned, “By the way, I know your friend, that resident has been dying to be a part of the sorority. We had a discussion of recruiting new members, she should apply. I’ll make sure she gets in, this time” Although I wasn't too thrilled about the idea, I acted like I was, showed her a grin of my own and expressed how wonderful that was. “I’m happy you are okay with this. She'll be very happy. You two are so close,” she stated, “for a while I thought you were dating. How silly of me.” She laughed, though I didn't find it funny, I joined in. For the next two hours, it was just me and Veronica — working. We hardly said anything to each other and sometimes I would catch her staring like she wanted to say something but decided against it. But when we began to pack up to leave the golf cart, she tapped me on my shoulder and looked really sorry, “I just wanted to apologize for that little mix up,” she began. I told her it was fine and Miss Marilyn didn't get hurt, but she shook her head roughly and her face squeezed to a frown, “No, no. I act so stupid at times. Those peaches might have killed her and it will be because of my stupid mistake.” “Well, cherries don't exactly look like peaches so…” “Doesn't matter. I'm so sorry.” I told her it was fine and before she thought of crying, I patted her shoulder, assured her one more time that no damage was done and accompanied her to the parking lot, where her car was. I turned to leave but she grabbed me by my hand, told me that she will give me a ride home. I remembered that she was a flowersuns and I, a member of LLC Fraternity and the Twitter trend and scandal with Romeo was still there and even if I had nothing to do with it, I was still connected to it somehow. But images from that night in Derek's house came to me in flashes and began to play in my head like a movie. I didn't care, at that point, I was convinced they didn't rule me. Thanking Veronica and flashing her a smile, I hopped into the passenger's seat of her Toyota Camry, and she drove off. We were at the frat house within minutes. I wanted her to drop me off a block before the building, but she declined and replied, saying “I know what you're doing. But you have to stand up for yourself. Don't let those homophobic bastards rule you.” “I won't.” I replied. “Of course. Just keep looking and watching your back.” She said dryly, I smiled and thanked her for the ride and advice. She asked if I remembered all my shifts, I replied yes, thanked her again and began to make my way to the entrance door, all the while feeling Veronica's eyes following my every movement. I met Diego and Carlos on my way to my room like they had been standing there waiting for me. The best thing I could do at that time was ignore the looks they shot at me and continue my walk. But just as I began to do that, Carlos, I believe — because I wasn't sure whom — stretched their legs forward, that I stepped on my feet and stumbled on the ground. I would have fallen face flat, if I hadn't braced myself for the impact and landed on my sides instead — the side of my head did hit the ground though. “What did you do that for?” I hated that my voice cracked at the end of it. They seemed to have noticed and let out a small chuckle, “We noticed you hitched a ride with a girl.” “So?” “Didn't you feel anything?” Diego stepped forward, I stood to my feet, “Didn't you feel like… touching her?” I didn't say anything. Didn't need to. “I bet you didn't, did you?” “He sucks dick, I’m very sure he didn't even think of Veronica that way. “ He seemed to be talking to Carlos, but Diego's eyes narrowed at me as he came close, What if he's thinking of us that way, right now.” “Stop it.” It came out smaller than I expected, and I hated how I no longer felt confident when I’m with them, “Just stop okay! Two weeks ago, even last week, you had no idea, no freaking idea that I was fruity. What changed?“ When they didn't say anything, I continued, “Yes, I’m fruity and no, I don't and I will never think of being with any of you guys. No one will ever think of being with someone who is sick and disgusting and bullies — “ I wish I could say I ended my speech quite well and I walked out freely without a scratch. But while I was just getting riled up to speak my mind and tell them exactly what I felt and thought, Diego's fist landed squarely on my jaw and for the second time that afternoon, I landed on the ground. I felt someone kick me and another and another and a punch and I thought it would go on forever but it eventually stopped and I was breathing hard, Carlos was too and Diego. “You really thought you were in the position to speak.” Diego spat, “You dirty filthy trash!” And he kicked me again as if he was trying to prove his point. “You disgust me.” Carlos said, “And I hate that I once ate, talked and called you a friend. You are the one who deserves no one.” Again, like he was trying to prove a point, he kicked me once more. I closed my eyes and braced myself for another impact, but it never came. They already left. I remember seeing people around us, they were gone too and I wondered why no one came to help. They just stayed and watched and took their phones from their pockets to take a video. Eventually, I found the strength to get myself up and walk to my room, even though all I did was limp throughout. Thankfully, there was not much damage, especially on my face — except a cut on my forehead, a scratch on my arms, and a small injury on my left arm. Besides all that, I didn't think there was any need to visit the clinic. There was a knock on my door. Faint, but it was there. I didn't want to receive any visitors but before I could speak, the door opened and the visitor stuck his head in. It was Romeo. “Do you mind if I come in?” He asked, unable to say anything, I shook my head. I doubt he saw the movement but he came in anyways. “I saw what happened,” He began, “I know it's very cowardly to just watch and not do anything, but you understand don't you?" I nodded. “You understand we are now like… outcast to do the ones we call hermanos.” “We don't have to be — I’m not going to be.” “It’s not for us to say. Society hates something, they’ll act on it. It's left for us to know if we could stay fighting or give up. At the end, you're all alone and fighting means nothing when you'll fall to the ground anyways.” “It doesn't matter,” “But it does,” he choked out, “people will hate you for not loving the normal, or what they know as the normal. Apparently, having feelings for boys Isn't.” “It doesn't — “ “I didn't exactly come here to talk,” Romeo said quickly, “I came here to give you this.” And he handed me a bottle of what looked like pills in them. “What is this.” “Antidepressants,” He smiled, “I used them when they found out about me. And the start of the Twitter scandal.” I shook the bottle, hearing the sound of pills hitting the body of the bottle, “Does it work?” He shrugged his shoulders, “Sometimes. But not much lately that's why I’m giving them to you.” I chuckled, “But I’m not depressed.” He laughed, patting my shoulders, “just in case.’ He stayed in my room for a few more minutes, helped me to press my wounds with a purple towel that was lying on my bed and we talked. About everything and anything, mostly about what the other guys did to him when they found out he wasn't normal. He also mentioned he wasn't convinced the flowersuns are there to help him and just wanted the praise and attention. I told him I didn't think so too and I remembered that resident. Was she any different since she was only interested in his story because she wanted the flowersuns to notice her? Before he left, I told him my friend is working with the school's press team and she would help him, I also would help him because no one would care about what I did anymore. He smiled and thanked me, that at least he was able to speak with me. I thanked him too for talking to me and the next minute, I was alone again. That night, I slept well with a new sense of relief. Talking to Romeo, somehow made me feel I had a companion, an ally. I slept looking at the bottle of antidepressants that I now kept on the reading table beside my bed. I woke the next morning to the sound of voices outside — outside my room, outside the door. I tried to get up as fast as I could to know what was happening but the pains on my body from the beating I got the previous day drew me back. My phone began to ring, so loud that I flinched at the suddenness of it. It was a resident. Her voice rushed to my ears when I answered it but I couldn't get what she was saying because the words were so rushed. Then she repeated it. This time, louder and clear enough, “He’s dead, Vera.” the resident said, “Romeo is dead.”

CHAPTER TWO Monday, July 27th, 2020 through Tuesday, August 4th, 2020 Slowly, I pushed Derek away from me and slid down the wall beside him. I felt calmer now, less throbbing, less excited but I could still feel my heart pounding against my chest, like it was breaking out to escape. I wondered how that will be, to have no heart. To not care. But I did and that was one of my many fatal flaws. Derek turned to me, trying to control his breathing with a smile that covered his slim pale face. He sat beside me now, still staring. I liked it but still it made me feel uncomfortable. Made me think there were more than a pair of eyes on me. “Are you okay?” He asked, head cocking to the side and like it will bring any enthralling effect, ran his hand through his wavy brown hair “Yeah.” And truly I was. But it couldn't change the conversation that resident had a few moments ago. It also couldn't change the Twitter saga, and the frat boys being homophobic. Most of all, I didn't seem to understand what that resident meant by acting like “ everything was about me. ” Because I didn't agree to help Romeo's case. Did she know? I was uncomfortable with the idea of my residents finding out the truth, even though I knew they would never mind. But telling one person is setting a path for everyone to know too, and not everyone will be as understanding as my residents. For a while, Derek and I did nothing but sit in silence and bask in the calmness of each other's presence. Derek though, didn't seem to be calm so much and took an interest in his fingers, twisting it so hard, I thought it might have hurt a bit. But he turned to me — eyes wide with his lips stretched to a smile that didn't make his eyes wrinkle at the sides. He stopped twisting his fingers now, instead he placed them on my arm and licked the bottom of his lips. “Want to come to my house tomorrow?” New to the question, my brows raised as I regarded him, trying to figure out what bold spirit has generated in him. He looked calm but still fidgety. Very fidgety. “Why?’ “To see you of course.” “Are you getting uncomfortable with our arrangements?” I asked in which he hurriedly replied no. “Then what?" “I just felt you should come, you know. Get to know more about each other.” I nodded, wondering why he wanted to know more about me since this is all we could give each other. When I first met Derek it was at this same library. But instead of being outside of it, we were inside — reading, as we should and somehow we began to not read the books in front of us but we both became more important things to read. It was like the perfect guide to meeting your significant other in a very cliché place as the library. And even when we weren't reading, we talked like we were in the library — in hushed tones, pleasantries and nothing more than the basics. We didn't need to know much about each other than our bodies. That's what I thought until that afternoon sitting with Derek and for some reason, I was excited. Very excited. “Okay. Awesome.” I grinned. He smiled too but again, his eyes didn't seem to smile too. “But I’d meet with Jenna concerning the resident assistant job, so after that?” He nodded, agreeing with the idea. “I thought Veronica was the resident assistant though?’ “There's still another opening.” I said, “Actually, Jenna is recommending me.” “Jenna?” “ She's the director of the Latinx culture center.” I explained. He nodded like he understood and continued to twist his fingers. It wasn't until the sun began to set below the horizon that Derek and I said our goodbyes and I began to make my way to the frat house, where I lived. Leaving the alleyway felt like a rush of clean air into my lungs. Until that afternoon, I have always felt different with Derek, much more reserved but different nonetheless and it was a good feeling. But right there, I knew something wrong somewhere and what it was, I had no idea until the events of the following day, when my tongue was filled with bitterness. “Vera!” Called someone behind me. Turning, I was met with Veronica jogging towards me with a huge smile that covered her face. When she stopped in front of me, her smile grew bigger and I wondered if it hurt to smile that wide and hard. “Hey Veronica.” I greeted, hoping my energy marched hers. I knew Veronica and I knew her well. She was a member of the flowersuns sorority, and a very dedicated one too. As a friend to some women in the sorority, I've seen Veronica a few times. What can I say about her? A bright easy going fun lover that never really seemed to show any interest in speaking with me even though I have tried to strike a conversation with her on a few occasions. “Hey.” She replied, still not dropping her smile which now seemed frozen on her face, “How are you? Where are you going?” “Home. Why?” “Well, rumor has it you are going to get the ra job, so I'm just looking after a co-ra.” And yes, at the time she was also the current resident assistant. "Ah. Yes. I spoke to Jenna actually. Been trying to shoot my shot at it since freshman year.” I explained, smiling back at her, “Turns out she's been wanting to recommend me to Miss Marilyn for the job.” “Oh, that's sweet. An extra hand is needed actually.” “Yeah?” “Yeah! Being an assistant is no easy job.” Laughing, I agreed with her. She did too but I didn't like the sound of it. “Your interview is tomorrow, yeah?” “Early too.” “Okay, sounds great.” She nodded and then clapped her hand, so loud and hard like she got an idea about something, “Okay! I'll see you tomorrow. Don't fret it. I'm sure you'll do great.” She smiled again and left. As I watched her walk to her sorority house, which wasn't far from where I lived, I thought of how burdensome the work of a resident assistant could be that Veronica seemed too comfortable and happy on the idea of having a partner to share the work with her. And I was thankful that things seemed to go great. She didn't bring up Romeo's case and didn't seem to care and that was another thing to be grateful for. I tried to call that resident again when I got to the frat house, lying on my bed in the dark, but like the other six times I tried, it went straight to voicemail. I thought of how I have frustrated her this much to make her ignore me. I thought of how she seemed so desperate. Too desperate. I thought of the cuts on her arms. I thought of the flowersuns. Seeing Veronica that evening, with her bright smile and huge eyes, I had restricted myself from grabbing her arm and forcing the truth out of her. If she had a hand in that resident hurting herself. But as my hands stretched to do the said action, it became ridiculous. The entire concept. The entire idea. Technically, I have never seen that resident being bullied in any way by the flowersuns. Except, the few times when that resident— who is the loudest, most outgoing girl I know — seemed to be very silent and reserved anytime girls from the flowersuns stepped into the scene. Or how someone who never belittles herself, seems to think of herself as nothing next to the flowersuns. The only thing that links to a good evidence or excuse was in Junior year when Veronica and some girls from the sorority had played a prank on a resident. At that time, she was as desperate as ever to be part of the sisterhood. Rumor has it she broke into the house with no invitation and begged to be called their 'sister’ visibly very desperate to feel and be among them. And then, they had invited her to their yearly bonfire night, where they met up with aspiring members. The venue was an undisclosed location, because apparently it was a confidential meeting/ party and was only for a privileged selected few. That resident was told to go to a Lodge outdoor area at the outskirts of campus. On getting there, she met no one. The party, according to the information given to her, was to start by ten o'clock but there was that resident, alone, cold, confused. No one came for the party. Turns out the bonfire never existed, and there was no party. She was just a play thing for their little trick. And somehow, sometimes, I have some thoughts that the flowersuns were responsible for that resident running to me that night, with her hands bleeding from harming herself. And tomorrow, there might be a possibility of me working so close with the mastermind of it all. That night, I got three messages from three different people and each one made my heart race with different emotions. Hope. Desire. Fear. My phone beeped beside me with a message. The little light that flowed from the screen of my phone, spread itself to light up the darkness of my room as I read the text. I had to blink a bit for my eyes to settle with the adjustment. Reading the message, there was a bit of confusion and the feeling of being grateful. "I hope you nail tomorrow's meeting. Can't wait to work with you, partner. Here's a little something, get some peaches for Miss Marilyn, she really loves them. Thank me later. " At the end of the message, Veronica stared at me. Wondering how she got my number, I texted her back, asking the question and of course, thanking her for the little information that could most definitely earn me a few points in Marilyn book. Two minutes after sending the message, my phone buzzed again with another text from Veronica, stating that she got my number from Jenna and the information “ was no biggie ” and I could thank her by getting the job. Satisfied, I laid my head on the pillow beneath my head, ready to say goodbye to the night. But for the third time that night, my phone flashed with a message. This time it was from someone I expected, which didn't take me by surprise and then I was filled with longing of expectations and that feeling of longing and desire. "You're still coming tomorrow, right? I'll be waiting for you." Derek's message stared at me with its bright light and precise directness. It wasn't new to receive messages from Derek. Actually, quite often, I receive texts from Derek but mostly about when and where we will meet. The shortness of his message was just the same as most conversation that we have, if you exclude the tempting words during sex. He was straight and always to the point and even when we don't let our body and lips do the talking, we sit side by side or in each other's hand, doing absolutely nothing. So to say, silence with Derek was in a way a most comforting feeling. A close best to tranquility, made me feel sometimes I could let my heart do the leading and not my body or urges. Looking forward to my time with Derek, I replied with a simple, “ sure .” Smiling to myself as I laid my head on my pillow, preparing to sleep. But I thought of Derek again and tomorrow and how he never wanted me into his house, because he was trying to make things as discreet as possible and not too personal. But now things are changing, and have been changing for a while. I have noticed him staring a little too long too, does this mean he wants something more? And a few minutes after I received Derek's message, while I tried to force myself to sleep and not feel too giddy inside, I received another message. The third person that night, only that I didn't know from whom. It wasn't the shortest, it wasn't the most direct and it most definitely wasn't the most expected, but it was the only one that made my blood freeze and my heart to halt its pumping. It only contained six words. six ugly words but it was enough. "We know you suck dick, princess." For a moment, I sat with my head buzzing with no words, no thoughts, no specific emotions. I could only hear my slow breathing, the wind singing outside, the trees moving and at the same time nothing at all. When the day finally broke, and it was sensible enough to pay a visit to a friend, I walked to where that resident lived in the school's dormitory. It was a few blocks away from the frat house, but felt like hours as I quickened my pace under the cloudless sky. I called that resident but like yesterday, she didn't answer. Then I knocked, she also didn't answer and then I banged it with my fist. I heard a loud, “I’m sorry, hold on“ on the other side of the door and I was met with a wet resident. It appeared like she just took a shower. Her dyed red hair was curled and fell to the towel that was wrapped around her body. Her eyes grew wide as she saw me, preparing herself to close the door but before she could do anything, I stormed into the room. “What the hell are you doing, Vera?” She asked, but closed the door and stood by it. She repeated her question once more, folding her arms below her chest and glared at me. But I didn't care. Not now. “What are you trying to do?” “What are you talking about?” “You are the only one who knows, why are you trying to threaten me with it? Is this because I didn't agree to help Romeo?” She scoffed and ran her hands through her hair. I didn't know why I was there, why I was blaming her because it wasn't exactly proven she knew the truth. But coming to confront her, all the while, I prayed she was. “Okay. First of all, I think I’ve made myself clear on Romeo's case and secondly, what the hell are you even talking about?” Reaching to the pockets on my sweat pants trouser, I retrieved my phone, scrolled to the message I received the night before, the last one and handed it over to her, bringing the screen of the phone so close to her face. She read it and in seconds I watched as her mood moved from anger to impatience to confusion to realization and then shock. My heart sank. “You think I'll send this to you?” I swallowed, “Well, who else would it be. You're the only one who knows.” “What do you even mean? You never told me. You never mentioned it.” “Then yesterday what did you mean I was acting like everything was about me?” I asked and I felt with every word spoken, every step taken, I was getting farther from the truth. The one I had so impulsively concluded. “Didn’t you mean I was being selfish by not helping a fruity man because I was also fruity?” Her brows furrowed as a small chuckle escaped her lips and then she stared at me like I had said the most alien thing, “No. I only said that to get on your nerves — because I thought you didn't want to help because of your frat guys.” I did nothing as she spoke but watch and feel my heart skip beats and my blood like frozen water rushing through my veins. I felt cold at that instant, scared. “Isn't that what you meant by not agreeing?” She asked, like she has repeated the question previously, “Vera — “ “You didn't send that message?” “No, I — “ “I have to go. “ I heard her as she called my name, but made my way to the door. I felt it when she grabbed my shirt to pull me back but I removed it forcefully. I wasn't sure what to feel, how to feel. Someone out there knew I was fruity and was scaring me with it and quite possibly might blackmail me with it. But when I stood in the shower and let the tiny drops of cold water splash on my bare skin, I began to think that's exactly what it was, a scare. Nothing but a scare. A vile wicked reckless scare by someone who will not have anything to their advantage. At least, I'll make sure of that. With that, there was a new swell on my chest. No one will find out, no one has any reason to. With everything thing I did, with every partner I had, I have always been discreet and careful about it. It was impossible for me to get caught. I button my shirt as I thought of this, sealing the sudden surge of confidence and protectiveness and made myself presentable enough to meet Marilyn and Jenner. It is undeniable that I was still very much scared and alert even as I stepped out of the frat house, somehow it seemed to have intensified. I watched everyone closely, noticed everything, every movement, every person as I walked, like some infant vampire In a paranormal movie. It was a very alien feeling of insecurity. I felt someone was following me, watching me, taking note of all my movement like the exact same feeling when I was with Derek in the alleyway. But I shook the thoughts off as I made my way to Jenna and Marilyn's office. It was absurd to think that way. Crazy to think that anyone will want to have dirt on me or hate on me even for that time, I had so well believed I was most loved by everyone and everyone around me. The meeting with Jenna was as short and direct as I expected and hoped it will be. Apparently, Jenna kept saying good things about me to Marilyn, the Latinx floor manager. I must confess, my mind wasn't in the position at the moment and if the two women caught on with it, they never mentioned it. Marilyn though had politely declined the peaches which I brought for her, saying she didn't want them or eat them, In fact she was allergic to them. I was confused for a while because veronica mentioned in her message that Marilyn would appreciate it, or was she mistaken? Leaving the building, I saw the said girl speaking to a man that carried a basket of flowers, she seemed to be on duty. She turned and noticed me then that wide smile of hers was back again and she waved, beckoning on me to go to her. So with my bag filled with peaches, I made my way to her with a smile or my own, suppressing whatever fear that swam inside me. Forgetting the message I received, it was just a scare, I told myself. “I got the job.” I said to her. I watched as her smile grew big then she drew me close and squeezed me in a hug, laughing. “Yeah?” I nodded, “It was meant for no one else but you anyways. Jenna did well by recommending you.” She laughed and when she finally noticed the bag still filled with peaches and not on Marilyn's table where it was meant to be, her brows squeezed with a frown that now took over her face, “she didn't like the mangoes?” “Mangoes?” “Yeah. I told you to get mangoes for Miss Marilyn. She loves them.” “No,” I replied confused, “you said peaches.” Before the argument could go further, she reached out to her back pocket to get her phone and scrolled to the message she sent me. Her face fell as she read then she sucked in air and looked up to me with these very sad, sorry ocean blue eyes. “God I’m so stupid,” she sighed, “I’m sorry, so sorry. I meant mangoes, not peaches. I wasn't really paying attention when I sent this.” “Oh no it's fine! I comforted her and because she did look really sad and sorry, I rubbed her shoulders hoping that's enough to tell her not to worry. After a moment of us going back and forth on who’s meant to be sorry and all, Veronica released me and I was back in my room, on my bed, and the day breezed passed me like it was nothing, like it was seconds and then I was in front of Derek's apartment, at his door. Knocking and swearing and trying to calm my heart from beating too fast, I couldn't explain why this seemed like a huge deal to me. After a few seconds of waiting, someone finally opened the door and Derek stood in front of me. He greeted me with a smile, one that made my heart skip ten beats. When he invited me to come in, I made sure to compliment the black shirt that clung to his slim brown skin, even though it was technically nothing special. But that night, I did want him to feel special. “Your space is nice.” I complimented, taking account of the modern suburban vibe of the room. “Thanks. I got some help redecorating it.” And we watched, sat in silence which was expected because we both understood what this night meant for us. Derek though, was the one that broke ice. After he had brought a beer for me and watched as I took the first sip of it, he stood up from his seat, took slow steps to me, while biting his lips once. It was enough for me to start feeling everything all at once, everything I had tried to suppress because right now, Derek mattered more. I liked him, a lot and wanted more from him, more than he was already given, more than we could give ourselves. When I brought him close, I felt him tense, looking over his shoulder but it was normal, so I went further, drawing his lips to mine, taking it to mine. And while I kissed him and we took a break to catch a breath, I let him know how I felt without meaning too. It escaped my lips that I liked him, “ more than I thought I would. ” He got tense again and didn't say anything. I knew he was scared, I just broke a barrier between us. Nevertheless, I leaned in to kiss him again and that's when I heard a burst of laughter behind us followed by a series of people clapping.

CHAPTER ONE

bringing to the books shall it be...